We’ve all been there. You’re faced with a difficult decision, and you don’t know what to do. So you turn to your friends, family, or colleagues for advice.

But what if you’re not really looking for advice? What if you’re just looking for someone to validate your decision?

It’s a common mistake. We all want to feel like we’re making the right choices, and it’s comforting to know that someone else agrees with us. But when we seek validation instead of advice, we’re doing ourselves a disservice.

Here’s why:

• Validation stifles growth. When we’re constantly seeking validation, we’re not challenging ourselves to think critically. We’re not open to new ideas or perspectives. We’re just looking for someone to tell us that we’re right.
• Validation leads to poor decision-making. When we don’t consider all of our options, we’re more likely to make poor decisions. We’re also more likely to make decisions that we’re not happy with in the long run.
• Validation erodes trust. When we constantly seek validation from others, it sends the message that we don’t trust ourselves. This can erode trust in our relationships with others.

So how do you know if you’re seeking validation instead of advice? Here are a few signs:

• You’re only interested in hearing what you want to hear. If you’re only interested in hearing advice that confirms your existing beliefs, you’re not really looking for advice. You’re just looking for validation.
• You get defensive when someone challenges your decision. If you’re quick to defend your decision when someone challenges it, you’re probably not open to feedback. You’re just looking for someone to agree with you.
• You don’t follow through on the advice you’re given. If you don’t follow through on the advice you’re given, it’s a sign that you’re not really interested in changing your mind. You’re just looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear.

If you find yourself in any of these situations, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself if you’re really looking for advice or validation. If you’re looking for advice, be open to feedback and be willing to consider all of your options. And if you’re looking for validation, remember that you don’t need anyone else’s approval to make your own decisions.

Here are a few tips for seeking advice in a way that will help you grow and learn:

• Be clear about what you’re looking for. Before you ask for advice, take some time to think about what you’re hoping to achieve. Are you looking for someone to tell you what to do? Or are you looking for someone to help you think through your options?
• Be open to feedback. When you ask for advice, be open to hearing different perspectives. Even if you don’t agree with everything that’s said, it can still be helpful to hear different points of view.
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you’re not sure about something, don’t be afraid to ask questions. The person you’re asking for advice from is there to help you, so don’t hesitate to ask for clarification.
• Take the advice with a grain of salt. Remember that the person you’re asking for advice from is just one person. They have their own biases and experiences, so their advice may not be right for you.
• Ultimately, the decision is up to you. Even if you get great advice, it’s still up to you to make the final decision. Don’t feel pressured to follow someone else’s advice if it doesn’t feel right for you.

Seeking advice can be a valuable way to learn and grow. But it’s important to make sure that you’re seeking advice for the right reasons. If you’re looking for validation, you’re not going to get the benefit that you’re hoping for. So be honest with yourself about what you’re looking for, and be open to feedback. With a little effort, you can use advice to make better decisions and reach your goals.